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Wednesday, October 20, 2010
one hell of a screwed-up family

I'm sorry
.
.
I'm sorry that things didn't go as planned
.
.
I'm sorry that you had to bear all the burden
.
.
I'm sorry that you're in so much pain
.
.
I'm sorry that people just don't appreciate you
.
.
I'm sorry that the people you care for are putting others before you
.
.
I'm sorry the people you care for hurt your feelings
.
.
I'm sorry that some people betrayed you

There are multiple reasons to be sorry for. But all I can do is write them here. Why is it so hard for me, or us for that matter, to vocalize them? Why does it seem so hard for us to just reach out for you? Give you a hug, or perhaps a shoulder to lean/cry on. We may not be able to feel or understand your pain, but the least we could do is share it with you. But we just can't seem to do it. All we could ever do is just sit and listen, as if we are non-sympathetic or just seemed lost. Oh God. Why are the apologies always stuck in our throats, choking us but never finding a way to get itself heard, or wait till once a year to get a clean slate once and for all, literally?

Sheesh. We are so fucked up.

~ { 8:16 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Saturday, October 16, 2010
cramping

Today I found out how much my riders (the new ones) cared for me, or how much i meant to them. So touched. :))

Its the first day of THAT TIME of the month again. When i found out, I dreaded going to work. I knew it was going to happen. It always did. It always made me feel (or appear) like a friggin' baby who can't stand a lil' pain.

But GOOD GOD!! It hurts so effing bad!! It took me all I can not to just curl up like a ball and cry. =.=

I even ate panadol and painkillers. but nothing seems to work. Thankfully i was doing MDS today and there wasnt much orders. I was practically lying down on the floor of the MDS area, bending over in pain with my head so drowsy from the meds.

The pain this time was too much that I actually cried (A bit only la. But still! Imagine the pain I was feeling!) And I NEVER cry when im in pain. Sheeesh! See!? BIG BABY!

But my riders, they were oh-so-sweet! One offered to send me home but I refused. One actually bought me the so-goddamn-useless panadol menstruation pills (Hey! Its the thought that counts.) One even offered to buy all sorts of herbal tea for me to ease the cramps. All were so thoughtful that they kept checking up on me to see how was holding up (though I was still curled up on the floor) and some offered to pack the drinks to lighten my workload. SWEET RIGHT!?

Funny thing was, there was this one time when I was not moving for a while and they actually thought that i had passed out from the EXCRUCIATING PAIN. They made a really big hoo-hah about it sia! LOLx! So adorable!

I felt so loved. :))

PS. This incident has made wished the unthinkable, man. The removal of the whole damn thing inside my abdomen that defines my womanhood(??) DAMN! Never thought it would actually come to this.

~ { 10:16 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Friday, October 1, 2010
hi there

It's been ages, I know.

I feel like I've written 37856 blog posts in my mind but the compositions never managed to reach my fingers like they are supposed to, to bring this space back to life.

Well you see..

My hamsters tore up some of my blog posts because they have a personality disorder and think that they are paper shredders. And.. My neighbour's dog ate the rest of my blog posts because.. Well, dogs always "eat my homework", don't they?

Bah! I would love to have inventive or imaginative excuses as to why everything that has happened had been forcibly stuffed into the dusty old cabinet at the cobwebbed corner of my mind.But the real reason is a really really long word with such a negative meaning.
P.R.O.C.R.A.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.O.N.
Enough said.

Oh wells.

My life lately has been a bowl of blonde moments, a cup of hectic-ness, a spoonful of what-the-fucks, a few sprinkles of hoorays, oohlalas and ohmygods and a little dash of just-kill-me-nows. That's about it. I don't care much for details.

ATTENTION! (For those who suffer from extreme stupidity)
TRANSLATION: The last few month has been a whole spectrum of emotions. So much drama that if it was a reality show, it would have hundreds of seasons. (NOTE: Seasons, not episodes.)

For those who would like to request for an encore telecast of all the previous episodes that you have missed, I'm sorry but we are unable to process it. It would seem that Malay soap dramas are no longer in favour now. Unless I switched ethnicity to a Korean.

Besides I think that we do not have a very strong cable connection. The "broadcast station" is down with an almost-fever, a headache and cramps all over. DAMN THOSE SWIMMING SESSIONS!
We regret any inconvenience or dissatisfaction caused.

Oopsies. I hear Mumsies scuttling in the kitchen to prepare dinner.
Gotta go.
See you, when I see you!

~ { 7:02 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~