The return of JANE

It's been a while since JANE was last seen. Today a glimpse of her appeared. Lurking around the corner. Partially hidden in the shadows. Still hesitant whether to show herself or not.

After quite some time of pretense, JANE realized that no matter how hard she tries to hide, she will still care. No matter how confidently she may tell the world that it does not affect her anymore, truth is, IT STILL DOES.

Though she has no tears left, JANE could feel her heart being crushed into a million pieces by just mere words. It's true what they say. It's those that matters most to you that has the power to hurt you like no other.

TP test

I passed! Like finally! Woo hoo!

14 demerit points! I felt as if my heart was in my mouth when the officer was going through my mistakes with me. It sounded as if I made a lot of mistakes sia. With each mistake mentioned, I felt my Hope Balloon deflate bit by bit. And by the time he finished, I think all that was left of my balloon was just an empty saggy piece of rubber.

So you can imagine my relief, delight and all other mixed emotions that was making fireworks in that small lump of pumping muscle embedded deep in my chest when he handed me my results, like finally, and told me I passed! Wheee!

My mistakes are not major ones. Just those that cost me 2 points. Like insufficienct acceleration, never check rearview mirror during lane changing and turning and wide turning. Surprisingly, I did exceedingly well for my circuit courses especially my parallel parking which I usually not do well for. I also did not do e-brake, which was good in a way, coz usually after doing e-brake, I feel flustered. Which would not help me considering that I was already a nervous wreck to begin with.

Thankfully all went as I hope. Yay me!

Silver lining

My goddamn laptop crashed.

There goes my lifeline.
There goes my source of entertainment.

But as people always say..
Every cloud has a silver lining.

I got my iTouch!!
So now tis is my new source.
in addition to the occasional borrowing of ALY's MacBook.

Hope to land a proper job pretty soon.
And my 1st pay 2nd pay would be channeled towards the funding of my new laptop.
Wonder which brand to choose.
HP? Dell? Vaio? MacBook? Fujitsu(again..)?

repetition

me and a group of 5 friends were on our way home. despite MOTHERS who keep telling us to not talk/hitch a ride home from strangers, we did. we all did. somehow during the ride home, the stranger randomly state that he is one of the most wanted criminal in the country - THE SLASHER. then, he laughed it off like it was some kind of a secret inside joke.

though we all laughed along with him, it made us nervous. me, in particular. so when he stopped at a traffic junction, some of us scrambled to dash out of the car, supposedly, to safety. however, the stranger and his wife convinced us that they had no bad intentions and will send us home. 3 of my friends felt that they could be trusted and so went and waited in the car while me and the other 2 insisted on walking home or hailing a cab.

suddenly i saw the 3 of us being dragged and forced into the car while the original 3 who were already in the car were forced out. we could only watch as we drove away leaving our friends by the roadside.

it turned out that the stranger was not kidding. he was THE SLASHER. the 3 of us were chosen as his victims because he said we put up quite a struggle back there, proving that we had good instincts and therefore would make the cat-and-mouse game more fun. it would give him an even greater pleasure watching us fight and struggle while we slowly die. our other 3 friends were rather submissive and would not be much of a kill and so, they were allowed to live.

we were all released separately in some abandoned area to find our own ways of escape. it was all a blur after that. i remembered that i kept running and in the end, tripping over my 2 friends, stripped of their clothes, dead with their throats slashed from ear-to-ear.

i heard the sound of vehicles and i felt a glimmer of hope. i made a mad dash towards the direction of the sound and found a road. i tried to hail a passing car, and when it stopped, to my horror, i realised that it belonged to THE SLASHER. it took me all i could not to cry or show my fear in front of him while i slowly backed away as THE SLASHER got out of the car. his face was a blank mask.

suddenly he burst out in maniacal laughter and clapped his hands. he congratulated me for being the sole survivor before advancing towards me, saying how much he would enjoy fighting me as i struggled to get away, seeing the defiance in my eyes as he tormented me about details of how he murdered my friends, and feeling the blade slash my throat as he killed me.

so he began slashing his blade around to threaten me. he nearly got me but it merely cut my watch strap, and my watch fell to the ground. just when i thought that all hope was lost, his wife got out of the car to stop him, saying that a deal is a deal. i was the sole survivor, and therefore i was allowed to leave, unharmed.

i felt immensely relieved when THE SLASHER dropped his arm and stop slashing at me. for a second, i thought everything was over when i saw THE SLASHER tenderly putting his arms around his wife. but in one movement, he slashed her throat. both of us could only watch, i in horror and him in glee, as she clutched at her neck, blood spurting from the open wound.

when she stopped struggling, THE SLASHER turned towards me, saying she was starting to become a real pain. then he stopped mid-way and started picking up my friends' clothes which were strewn all over the ground when he was slashing his blade around earlier. he kept repeating that he should honor his wife's last wish to allow me to go free. the one that got away, he said. so when he had picked up all the items, he held out my watch, saying i could go. and then he smiled.

for once he actually looked.. normal. however, my instincts felt that he could not be trusted. i would not trust to be at such near distance to him even if it was to claim my favorite watch. so i told him to keep it as a souvenir and backed away.

i was right, he could not be trusted. he was planning to kill me all along. under the bundle of clothes which he carried, he still held the blade to kill me with once he got me close enough by dangling the bait - my watch.

when i didn't bite, THE SLASHER toss the clothes on his car's bumper and he came after me. he waved his blade around like some crazy person running amok. i tried shouting for help, though no voice came out. there were lots of people around me, left and right, but none came to my aid.

im a murderer..

she was not being a nuisance to anybody. all she did was sit by the edge of the "pool". staring at the passer-bys from her perch. nobody seemed to notice her.

then i came, intending to use the "pool" and saw her. scared the shit out of me. slowly, trying so very hard not to make any sudden movements, i inched towards the spray hose and reached for it. if she was smart enough, she must surely have guessed my intentions. but, no. she juz sat there, staring at me with those unblinking black eyes of hers.

i felt a tiny sense of victory as i managed to get hold of the hose spray while she remains motionless. so i took my chance, considering that it might be my only one, before she managed to escape. i sprayed her with water at full blast, causing her to fall off her perch, and into the "pool".

i could see she was struggling to get out. i didn't know what came over me. a part of my brain was like telling me that i should stop, but i don't know why i just kept spraying at her. she could have been trying to shout for help for all i noe, but no sound came out, since she was choking on water.

the other part of brain felt pity looking at her, struggling with all her might against the current. but my hands did not seemed connected to my brain at that point of time. it kept on spraying and spraying.

finally, she stopped struggling. and then i stopped. oh god what have i done? i have just murdered an innocent.

to make matters worse, to get rid of the incriminating evidence of my crime, i pressed that button which allowed the water to carry her lifeless body away, down the hole.

oh dear God! forgive me for being so evil. God bless "Ms Liza Rourke Dashwood's" soul.

RIP

"Ms Liza.R.D"

10th July 2010

flying, flying.. gone..

well as of 24 hours ago, LIM HUIWEN aka Amber has left Singapore to begin a new chapter of her life. she'll be in Aussie, studying. din't manage to send her off at the airport. busy i guess? need to earn enough dough for even a chance of pursuing my studies. but still, that's no excuse. i hope she understands.

sadded. but still wishing her all the best. hope she gets that degree wif flying colours. she'll be back during her september break. and hopefully we can do a real (or shud i say proper??) clique gathering this time round.

baking

Crew outing

the long-overdue date