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Wednesday, March 31, 2010
mixed feelings

im feeling confused.
and im sure feeling guilty as hell.
but i really duno wad to do.

if i reject, it wud hurt.
coz im a special memory.
plus my actions are like giving hope.

but if i accept, it wud be unfair.
coz i dun really care, in that way.
and it juz does not work that way.

ppl are instigating me to give it a try.
but i cnt!
i juz cnt bring myself to do it.
i dunno if its juz MY INSECURITIES.
or perhaps MY CURRENT SITUATION.
or maybe WAD I SEE ON A DAILY BASIS.
i really dunno.

damn!

~ { 10:23 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Saturday, March 27, 2010
weird!

i duno wads wrong wif me but it would seem like my preferences are changing drastically.

there was once a time when i used to loathe the taste of JASMINE GREEN TEA and CARROT JUICE. but now im learning to appreciate the supposedly-said-refreshing-taste of JASMINE GREEN TEA and i am now hooked on CARROT JUICE!! o.0

actually im not juz hooked on CARROT JUICE. im into all sorts of juices this days. APPLE JUICE, ORANGE JUICE, WATERMELON JUICE, PINEAPPLE JUICE, CRANBERRY JUICE, etc. ahaha. :D

not only that, i used to dislike the taste of MARIGOLD FRESH MILK. but now i tend to prefer drinking that than my used-to-be all-time favourite, HL MILK.

weird.

~ { 7:22 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Thursday, March 25, 2010
DAMN!

got my results today.
so disappointing.
there goes my chance at university. :(
oh wells.
shud start job-hunting soon.
a proper one.
not the play-play ones like McD.

my health isnt at its peak either.
im sleeping late.
sleeping on cold, hard marble floor.
working and not enough rest.

now my body hurts like...
this, in addition to the bruises i suffered from a VERY EMBARRASSING FALL.

also, i tink i developed an allergy to chocolate or sth.
it started on sunday when i ate ONE ferrero rocher
and my throat started itching.
den by the next day (mon), it has becum sore and felt really dry.

lost my voice on tue.
sounded scratchy at first.
and then it turned into a full-blown "rocker" voice.
till today (wed).
coz i drank ICED MILO ytd, which i wasn't supposed to.
got scolded by DON and RAFIDA and NINA
and ate MCSPICY juz now.
and again was scolded by auntie TAISHU and auntie LILLIAN
ahahaha.
i feel so loved!!

many seem to love tis new voice of mine though
they say i sound really sexy..
ahahaha.
i call it my "sexy-katak" voice.
translation: "sexy-frog" voice.

anyways, the sore throat has evolved into a full-blown occasional coughing fits.
not good.
seems like it will be a long time before i can get back my normal voice. :(

~ { 12:56 AM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Saturday, March 20, 2010
outings are love!!

VENUE: SHAW @ LOT1
TIME: 1450 hours
watched "Alice in Wonderland" ytd.
demands of the majority.
but as RYAN said, storyline was a bit blearghx.
but effects and costumes-wise, THUMBS UP!! :D
love the CHESHIRE CAT!!

VENUE: LOT1 ROOFTOP GARDEN
TIME: 1640 hours??
waiting for dinner-time [and umi].
cam-whoring session.
i love tis photo!!
nice candid shot!!
Shawall sibings and b'day girl
i totally wasnt prepared for the rapid 10-shots.

VENUE: PASTAMANIA @ LOT1
TIME: 1730 hours
belles of JE24

and finally...
Family of JE24
spread the LOVE!! :D

p/s. more pics on facebook. :))

~ { 9:40 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Tuesday, March 16, 2010
wad a dream!

was talking to a friend online yesterday.
random topics under the sun.
one of it being my dream home.
well.. ideally, my dream home would be any place.
i don't really care.
just as long as all my family members are together.
living happily, bicker once in a while, do everything togeder.
no long-term fights, no negativity.
juz happy thoughts.
but if i were to want a dream house...

i would love to have this indoor pool...
this would be my private sanctuary...
my very own tres magnifique personal library...
[just like in "Beauty & The Beast"]
a peaceful outdoor area to lounge during my lazy days...
or perhaps to have some quiet reading time...
a unique place for a private get-away...
or for a relaxing weekend "ME" time...
and the most important feature of the house...
the kitchen.
i initially thought this was perfect.
but then i realised that it was too squeezy for me.
the area is not good enough to fulfill my crazy, sudden moods to cook or bake.
which usually ends up with the kitchen in a friggin' mess.
i nid a bigger space to re-kindle my love for cooking and baking.
SERIOUSLY.
and i found this.
almost right.
but GOOD GOD!
i hate that vomit-green colour of the cabinets.
so off i went again in search of the perfect kitchen.
took me a really long time and...
Voila!
wad a dream!

~ { 6:54 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Monday, March 15, 2010
princess of the sea

Water is the element of change.
The people of water are capable to adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything. Water is usually related to being good, impressionable, gentle, sympathetic, sensitive, and selfless.
Funny.
I always kinda thought that I was the element of fire [not because I think that I'm hot or anything]. But more to do with my erratic emotional changes, my short-temperedness, my sarcastic tongue.
Oh wells.

~ { 12:09 AM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Saturday, March 13, 2010
sucks to be you

and another quote a good fren of mine once said, "he/she who smiles for the world, always cries alone". i used to argue wif him all the time that there will always be ppl who wud nvr abandon u in ur times of need. but he merely smiled. i'd nvr tot i'd see the day that has proven him right.

tell me sth. wad do u do when the ppl u luv most HATE YOU? HATE YOU for nvr being gud enuf. HATE YOU for defending others. HATE YOU for never tinking of him/her. HATE YOU for seemingly putting others to be of higher importance to him/her. HATE YOU by assuming to noe wad is in your mind. and even HATE YOU juz for being on good terms wif the ppl he/she hates or the ppl who can't accept him/her into their lives any longer.

well.. hah. sucks to be you.

~ { 7:07 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
dear john

watched DEAR JOHN today. such a disappointment. said to be the best movie for year 2010, might even surpass AVATAR. nah. cant make it. seriously. the storyline is so... blearghx. $6.50. down the drain.

some may feel that i have no right to critic but seriously. i gotta admit that im a sucker for sad/romantic, tug-at-ur-heartstrings kind of storyline. about family r/ships and love [nt like VALENTINES' DAY!] --> refer to past post. but tis story does not appeal to me somehow despite being like the best love story of all time kind of stuff.

take for example, MY SISTER'S KEEPER. i cried for like half the time during the entire movie. now that's a good movie. but from DEAR JOHN, none. well, i did get choked up wif emotions during the scene when john was reading his letter to his sick father. but that was it. no tears.

but i do love what john wrote in the letter. the part when he said that he was a coin. made out of cheap metal, printed on and had his sides bezzled. the perfect coin. but now he has two holes [2 gunshot wounds], so he's now imperfect. somehow i tink that has a really deep meaning.

plus channing tatum is real HOT!!

~ { 11:42 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Tuesday, March 9, 2010
hate

10 THINGS I HATE
i hate ppl who care so much
i hate ppl who smile ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME
i hate ppl who bottle up everything
i hate ppl who still do a lot of things, knowing it doesnt change aniting
i hate ppl who still try so hard, knowing others will nvr be satisfied
i hate ppl who have to cover up other ppl's lies
i hate ppl who r forced to stay behind to help n watch others fly freely
i hate ppl who pretend that everything is ok
i hate ppl who cry at nite before they fall aslp
i hate ppl who kept wishing that things were different

in one sentence.
I HATE ME.

~ { 1:28 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Sunday, March 7, 2010
future

had a talk wif my dad juz now. you noe abt the future and stuff. now that im like graduating. soon. asking me abt my options. what im planning to do? am i gg UNI? which UNI am i gg to? which course i wud like to enrol into? what are my interest? wad r my backup plans shud i FAIL to go UNI? kept saying my course is competitive. i cnt possibly go aniwhere wif juz my diploma. ask me to consider.

a few suggestions came up:
me pursuing my interest in FnB
me pursuing my interest in tourism industry
me being a teacher
me joining the SPF

im still undecided though. but one thing i do noe for sure is that

~ { 11:07 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Thursday, March 4, 2010
last day.

juz reached home. BBM paper juz now was full of shit. the supposedly-not-tested chpts 12 and 14 came out. FUCK YOU, SETTER OF BBM PAPER!! (whoever you are.)

and finally officially today is our last day of sch!! yayayayay!! freedom!! woohoo!! no more cramming into 185 to SB. except tmr. nid submit BD report. blearghz. DAMN sia. everything oso i do. haiz..

anyways initially tot i'd go home and sleep or watch movies online before leaving to go jamming wif my brother and his frends later at 3.30pm. but seemed like the others have plans. wan to go K-box. hmmmz..

choices, choices. K-box, i like. jamming, new interest. which one? gotta make a decision fast. coz im leaving in half an hr. MUMMY going to be home soon. gotta make a move. ASAP. but which one?? aiyayaya!!

oh, and ADELE gave us cookies as we were leaving after the crap paper. for the entire class!! hand-made ones, wrapped in plastic, labelled with our names. so personalized. kinda make me feel"aww-its-so pretty-and-i dun-wana-eat-it". haha. so sweet!! it's funny that she's the one who has a farewell gift for the claz but nt me, considering i'm their claz rep. :p

oh wells. tink of it tis way. im not really parting wif them. we'll be in touch. outings (regularly?). so its not really farewell. no need for "farewell gifts". hehehe. :D

~ { 12:21 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~

Tuesday, March 2, 2010
MUGGING!

went to sch ytd. BBM study session + HAIRUL's surprise b'day celebration. supposed to meet at 10am, but i came at 11am. woke up late la. turned out the rest also late, except B'DAY BOY himself and RYAN. hahaha. started studying first before ROBIN, PEIJIN and ADA joined us. KFC-ed and bought the cake for the "surprise party" [i duno how but i had the feeling HAIRUL knew abt it all along].

haha. oh wells. its the thought that counts. 5 of us shared half the cake and B'DAY BOY had to finish the other half. though it's juz half of a small cake, he was struggling to finish it. cant blame him. he juz KFC-ed. Zinger meal summore.

den we left to study proper at T741. though i had to leave early, managed to memorise 3 chpts. awesome!! :D

woke up late today [again!] but who cares? went to Queensway to send BD report for binding. managed to memorize only 1 chpt on the way there but slept during the journey back. went jamming wif my brother and his frends. [wah so free ah AISYAH!? ur paper on thurs, still got so many more chpts to memorise. still got time to go jamming!? wan to die izit!?] pfffffttttt.

but i dint regret going though. it was FUN, in an awkward kind of way though. well i've nvr hung out wif my brother's friends before and suddenly they want me to be their vocalist while they practice. but okay la. they din't seem to mind my toad-ish voice. man! for a bunch of 16-17 year olds they can really play!! awesome!! might drop-in again on them sometime. :D

5.30pm i left and went to mug@Mcd. covered one more chpt. the kids at the table next to mind were excitedly (and noisily) playing Tic-Tac-Toe. -.-

while i was pcking to leave ard 8+pm, i overheard tis conversation.
WOMAN: why are you here? why aren't you home?
LITTLE GIRL: no one is at home.
WOMAN: where are ur parents?
LITTLE GIRL: mama is at work.
WOMAN: what about your dad?
LITLLE GIRL: i dun hav one.
WOMAN: wad do you mean?
LITTLE GIRL: papa packed his bags one day. he left and nvr come back.

shit!

~ { 9:46 PM }
~till next time.. XOXO ♥~